I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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