he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
