i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
