I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
