Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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