Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
do nipples grow back?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
