thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
