he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
