he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
