my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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