so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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