i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
