I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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