My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
