If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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