Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
