It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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