Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
