I'm jealous of your bromance
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
