the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
