is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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