that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
