did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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