he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I supernannyed him into submission
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
