I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
