batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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