i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
