I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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