I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
