i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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