i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
