What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
