Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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