I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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