My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
