ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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