Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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