You're so nebulous sometimes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
