Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
