I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
