His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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