: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
