Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
