Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
