I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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