How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
