The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
do herpes really smell.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize