do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize