I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can I color on your dick again?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
