He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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