So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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