That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
