it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
