i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
