so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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