Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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