I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So many bounce houses so little time
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
