So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
tell me about the eggs
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