I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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