Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize