seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
