you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
