i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We need a shit load of segways right now
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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