This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
