i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Damn victory sex feels great
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
