the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
