I need to stop coming to work sober
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
