I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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